September 21, 2023

Every of us, no matter our varieties, has sure core beliefs. Lots of our beliefs are rooted in our values, the experiences of our lives, or truths we maintain pricey. However some core beliefs are foggy; we aren’t even conscious we’re believing them. However they comply with us all through our lives, creating our idiosyncrasies and a few of our weaknesses.

In at present’s article, we’re going to dive into the false perception that every Enneagram kind struggles with. We’ll additionally discover some methods to avoid this perception and discover renewed vitality and objective.

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The Lie Every Enneagram Kind Believes, and The best way to Keep away from It

Enneagram One – “Avoiding Enjoyable and Pleasure is the Accountable Factor”

The lie Enneagram Ones believe is that experiencing fun or pleasure is unimportant

As a One, you usually really feel that your to-do record is king. Work first, play later might be your motto. Duties, agendas, constructions, and guidelines are your information. And whereas your accountability and work ethic are to be admired, at instances you possibly can lower your self off from pleasure or enjoyment as a result of it’s “trivial.” Over time, this could result in resentment, bitterness, and jealousy. Fairly than creating a way of pleasure and which means in your life, you are feeling trapped by your individual crucial nature.

To keep away from this false perception, schedule time every single day to hunt out wholesome pleasure. Learn a chapter in a e-book you’re keen on earlier than mattress, savor the meals at a favourite restaurant, or watch the sundown with a buddy you’re keen on. Your to-do record could also be plaguing you for the primary few instances that you simply do that, however ultimately, your sense of pleasure and rest will override the false perception that pleasure isn’t essential. And this follow might help you to develop into the wholesome model of the One. The wholesome One isn’t condemning, judgmental, and exhausted; the wholesome One is tolerant, joyful, and clever.

Discover Out Extra About Ones: The Enneagram 1 – The Perfectionist

Enneagram Two – “Neglecting my wants and placing others first will stabilize my relationships”

The lie Enneagram Twos believe is that they can stabilize their relationships by forgetting themselves.

As a Two, you’re a agency believer in selflessness. And whereas selflessness is one in every of your best qualities, you possibly can idiot your self into believing that any assertion of your individual wants is a cardinal sin. You are concerned that you may be seen as grasping or egocentric and that it places your relationships in danger. The issue is, in the long run, all of your repressed wants can come out in an unhealthy approach. It’s possible you’ll end up exhausted, resentful, needy, and overwhelmed.

To keep away from this false perception, begin with small acts of self-care every single day. Decide up a inexperienced tea latte after work, purchase your self contemporary flowers in your kitchen desk, or take an additional lengthy bubble tub on Sunday night time. Begin small and construct up your self-care routine. As you see that your wants will be met with out sacrificing relationships or stability, you’ll begin to acknowledge that wholesome relationships contain each give and take. The wholesome Two isn’t overly needy or co-dependent; the wholesome Two is mature, beneficiant, and type – each with themselves and others.

Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Twos: The Enneagram 2 – The Helper

Enneagram Three – “I can outwork my emotions”

The lie Enneagram Threes believe is that they can outwork their feelings.

As a Three, you’re the king of productiveness. You have got the drive to succeed and a deep-seated want for achievement. And whereas that is an admirable high quality, it might lead you to imagine that onerous work will make your whole issues go away. However in actuality, emotions will not be one thing that may be labored away or forgotten about. Suppressing your feelings on a steady foundation results in isolation, vacancy, and melancholy.

To keep away from this false perception, start to concentrate to your emotions extra deliberately. Discover after they come up after which attempt to label them (e.g., am I harm, unhappy, offended?). When attainable, identify what has prompted the sensation – was it one thing somebody mentioned or did? Upon getting the reply, course of your feelings in a wholesome approach. Discuss with a buddy or write in a journal – simply be certain that to permit your self to really feel and categorical your emotions authentically. As you be taught to handle your emotions and obtain steadiness between productiveness and emotion, you’ll begin to embody the wholesome model of the Three – assured, self-aware, and stuffed with vitality.

Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Threes: The Enneagram 3 – The Achiever

Enneagram 4 – “I’m totally different from everybody else on the planet”

The lie that Enneagram Fours believe is that they are different and unlike everyone else.

As a 4, you usually really feel like a misfit on the planet round you. This sense of “otherness” can result in emotions of despair, disillusionment, and inferiority. Some Fours, relatively than feeling inferior, really feel superior to others of their otherness; like they’re higher, extra distinctive, or extra advanced. Over time this could stifle a 4’s potential to empathize, join, and type wholesome relationships. Many unhealthy Fours isolate themselves from the world, lingering in an area of remorse and loneliness.

To keep away from this false perception, notice you could be a singular particular person whereas additionally sharing many commonalities with others. You don’t should really feel inferior or superior – you simply should be your self. Discover a place inside your self to understand your genuine humanity. For those who really feel overwhelmed by disgrace, notice that you’re not worse than others, however you could be extra attentive to your flaws than others. Notice that everybody has flawed households, errors, failures, disgrace, concern, anger, in addition to pleasure, hope, and the need for love and which means. As you break by way of the phantasm of separateness and embrace your connection to humanity, it is possible for you to to embody the wholesome model of the 4 – artistic, self-aware, and linked.

Uncover Extra About Enneagram Fours: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram 4 Kind

Enneagram 5 – “My sources and vitality are in fixed hazard of disappearing”

The lie Enneagram Fives believe is that their resources and energy can disappear forever.

As a 5, you in all probability felt nervousness round resource-management as a baby. Many Fives disguise and isolate themselves as kids as a result of they’re afraid of being overwhelmed by others or having their vitality starved. When this nervousness is carried into maturity, it might create a stressed must hoard vitality, time, and sources with a view to shield the self. Sadly, this doesn’t result in happiness and which means, however loneliness, elevated nervousness, and stinginess.

To keep away from this false perception, keep in mind you could handle and replenish your vitality. You aren’t a glass of water that, as soon as emptied, can by no means be stuffed once more. You may hold refilling your vitality when wanted. Prioritize self-care and connection, and create a schedule that enables for normal breaks from work and recharging actions like train or meditation. Follow being a bit extra beneficiant – together with your time, cash, and vitality – with a view to open your self as much as the abundance of life. As you be taught to handle your sources with out concern, you’ll embody the wholesome model of the 5 – considerate, assured, and resourceful.

Discover Out Extra About Enneagram 5: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram 5 Persona Kind

Enneagram Six – “By specializing in potential issues, I can hold them from taking place”

The lie Enneagram Sixes believe is that if they worry enough, they can find a solution

For those who’re a Six, you in all probability imagine that by worrying about potential issues you could find options for them. Sadly, the reverse is usually true. By specializing in what may go fallacious, you possibly can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. For instance, you may concern that your important different goes to depart you, so that you begin performing unusual and distrustful round them, testing their loyalties, stepping into arguments about misconstrued particulars, and inflicting a rift within the relationship.

To keep away from this false perception, deal with what goes proper as a substitute of what may go fallacious. When concern and doubt come up, take a step again and have a look at all that may very well be going proper as effectively. Remind your self of the sources you could have inside your self ought to issues go fallacious. And keep in mind that oftentimes, the conditions we concern by no means come to go. Considered one of my favourite quotes (as somebody who additionally struggles with nervousness) is from a e-book referred to as Rewire Your Anxious Mind: The best way to use the neuroscience of concern to finish nervousness, panic, and fear. This quote says: “Though individuals might imagine considering processes like fear or rumination will result in an answer, what really occurs is a strengthening of the circuitry within the cortex that produces nervousness. As well as, rumination has been proven to result in melancholy.”

I attempt to hold that quote in thoughts after I’m tempted to ruminate and fear with a view to discover a “resolution” that I seemingly won’t ever uncover.

Discover Out Extra In regards to the Enneagram Six: The Enneagram 6 – The Loyalist

Enneagram Seven – “If I can pursue sufficient experiences, I’ll ultimately be happy”

The lie that Enneagram Sevens believe is that if they chase pleasure enough they'll find contentment

As a Seven, it’s tempting to chase after experiences and objects, searching for the “good” distraction that can ultimately offer you a way of contentment. Whereas sure, you could expertise a second of happiness or pleasure, true satisfaction often comes from inside; not with out. As a substitute, you could end up always chasing after experiences or pleasure, however with a rising feeling of despair or dissatisfaction.

To keep away from this false perception, keep in mind that satisfaction comes from inside and requires cultivating self-awareness and contentment with what you could have in life. Acknowledge your feelings and don’t run away from them; as a substitute, embrace them for what they’re. Enable your self to relaxation within the second with out at all times needing one thing extra stimulating or thrilling. Make a sport out of discovering satisfaction in much less; in merely present and noticing the small particulars that give life which means and wonder. By discovering satisfaction within the smaller issues that carry which means, you possibly can keep away from the detrimental penalties of pleasure-seeking or extreme indulgence.

Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Sevens: The Enneagram 7 – The Fanatic

Enneagram Eight – “Being weak and intimate with somebody will spoil my life”

The lie Enneagram Eights believe is that vulnerability will ruin their lives

As an Eight, you might be usually affected by the sensation that others will make the most of you or attempt to management you. As a baby, many Eights skilled some type of betrayal. This betrayal gave them the deep conviction that they would want to handle themselves as a result of no person else had their finest pursuits at coronary heart. For those who’re an Eight, you possibly can in all probability pinpoint some experiences like that straight away. Over time, this could result in increase defenses, mistrust, and a necessity to regulate. This particularly involves gentle in relationships, the place you could refuse to be weak or wrestle to type intimacy with a buddy or important different. Whereas Eights are sometimes advised about their “flaws” (many individuals wish to vilify this kind), what I wish to deal with right here is that the unwillingness to be weak is definitely resulting in a much less satisfying life for you as an Eight. And also you deserve a satisfying life. At your finest, you’re a “defender of justice” and a vital a part of any group or relationship.

To keep away from this false perception, keep in mind that being weak with somebody isn’t an indication of weak spot; it’s really an act of energy and safety. Enable your self to be seen and heard with out feeling like you should shield your self on a regular basis. Connecting with others will be fairly lovely when performed appropriately, so don’t concern giving up your management or constructing significant relationships in your life. Taking small steps in the direction of connection will provide help to learn to belief and construct true intimacy, which is able to result in extra real pleasure for you as an Eight.

Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Eights: The Enneagram 8 Challenger

Enneagram 9 – “No person needs to listen to what I’ve to say”

The lie Enneagram Nines believe is that nobody cares what they have to say

As a 9, you could really feel just like the world solely needs to listen to your opinions when it aligns with what everybody else is saying. So with a view to preserve your peace, you could keep silent and keep away from talking up. It’s possible you’ll really feel your self getting self-conscious whenever you communicate, worrying that others are bored or irritated with you. The draw back of that is that you’re denying your self the chance to share your distinctive ideas and views – one thing that may carry nice pleasure and satisfaction into your life. You may as well end up in one-sided relationships the place individuals aren’t contemplating your perspective or wants.

To keep away from the false perception that no person cares what you need to say, keep in mind that each single one in every of us has invaluable perception price sharing. Converse up when you could have an opinion or thought – even when it’s totally different from what different individuals assume. Discover supportive buddies who respect and worth your voice, in addition to encourage and problem you to assume outdoors the field. You don’t have to attend to be requested in your ideas and opinions; it’s okay to easily share them with out being requested instantly.

Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Nines: Seven Struggles of the Enneagram 9 Kind

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The Trustworthy Enneagram by Sarajane Case, Andrew McMeel Publishing

Persona Varieties: Utilizing the Enneagram for Self-Discovery by Don Richard Riso with Russ Hudson, Houghton Mifflin Firm.

In regards to the Writer:

Susan Storm is a licensed MBTI® practitioner and Enneagram coach. Because the founding father of Psychology Junkie, she loves writing concerning the sensible purposes of character kind. Susan Storm can also be a mom of 5 and works from house whereas homeschooling.