September 21, 2023

The issue with being an individual is that our brains play tips on us.

How we see ourselves is commonly very totally different than how we truly are.

As such, we could have blind spots in the case of our personal poisonous conduct.

However if you wish to construct sturdy, wholesome relationships — professionally and personally — it’s vital to determine private flaws and work to appropriate them.

So at this time, we’re breaking down 33 poisonous persona traits many individuals have and methods to appropriate them. 

33 Poisonous Character Traits to Know and Keep away from

In search of a poisonous traits listing? We’ve executed the work.

Under is an inventory of 33 qualities that everybody ought to attempt to keep away from for the betterment of themselves and others.  

1. Dismissiveness

Processing and weighing the conceits of each person who crosses your path is unimaginable. It’s admirable to attempt, however finally a silly enterprise. There’s not sufficient time within the day, and also you wouldn’t have time to suppose something via.

However overtly dismissing the ideas, opinions, and concepts of household, buddies, and “nuclear colleagues” is impolite, fractious, and greater than a contact boastful.

Need to keep away from being the thoughtless snoot who treats others like they don’t have a mind of their skulls? Thoughts the following tips:

  • Be a very good listener. It could be exhausting at first, however the higher you get at it, the higher communicator you’ll turn out to be.
  • Take a look at individuals if you discuss with them. Doing so will enable you to give attention to the dialog at hand.
  • Foster a way of humility; perceive that you may study one thing from everybody.

2. Perfectionism

Many individuals had been pushed right into a perfectionist mentality due to their upbringing. Some are victims of fogeys who anticipated an excessive amount of. Others come to perfectionism as a result of they had been uncared for and try to show one thing. 

woman standing alone at party toxic personality traits

Whichever the case, It’s homicide in your psychological well being, and it could possibly make you troublesome to be round. In any case, not a single human on this planet can cross the right check. Holding your self and others to unimaginable requirements is a no-win state of affairs throughout.

Do you wish to shed the yoke of perfectionism? Strive the following tips:

  • Study to understand that errors enable you to develop and turn out to be a greater particular person.
  • Consider the aim and that means behind issues as a substitute of the main points.
  • Open your self as much as criticism and discover ways to settle for it gracefully.

3. Lack of Sympathy / Empathy

Sympathy is if you really feel compassion for somebody going via one thing you’ve by no means skilled. Empathy is knowing one other’s ache since you’ve been via the identical factor or one thing related.

Sympathy and empathy are elementary to wholesome interpersonal relationships — professionally and personally. It’s not an exaggeration to say that civilization and group wouldn’t be potential with out them.

Need to work on being extra empathetic and sympathetic? Take into account the next factors:

  • Learn extra. Research present that individuals who learn rather a lot have extra compassion for others and themselves.
  • Develop into a greater listener.
  • Attempt to put your self in different individuals’s footwear.
  • Ask extra questions as a substitute of leaping to conclusions.

3. Jealousy

Please don’t hearken to individuals who let you know by no means to be jealous or that it’s 100% avoidable. Sadly, jealousy is a type of issues — (like mendacity, which we’ll get to beneath) — that’s a part of the human situation. 

It’s unimaginable to undergo life with out the occasional suspicion, humiliation, or tinge of anger about an actual or perceived menace to non-public standing or interpersonal relationship.

The trick isn’t letting it get uncontrolled. A little bit of jealousy on occasion is regular. Nevertheless it’s an issue when it turns into a behavior and causes you to lash out. 

Do you wish to curb your jealousy? Strive the next:

  • Begin journaling. Individuals who write down their ideas and emotions are typically extra even-keel and have higher views.
  • Observe gratitude and mindfulness.
  • Develop your self-confidence.
  • Work with a therapist to uncover the foundation of your jealousy.

4. Envy

We all know what you’re considering: Aren’t jealousy and envy the identical factor? 

They’re related, however there’s a big distinction. Jealousy is an disagreeable suspicion that will get your again up. Envy is when the supply of your discontent is rooted in another person’s benefits.

Envy foments resentment, results in illogical considering, and prevents you from dwelling as much as your potential. If you’re continually counting different individuals’s property and specializing in their luck, you fail to focus in your objectives and life.

So how will you mute the envy inside?

  • Depend your blessings; all of us have some.
  • Perceive that luck is a big a part of life, and let it go.
  • Cut back the period of time spent on social media.

5. Hypercompetitiveness

There’s nothing improper with wholesome competitors. It may be motivating and push individuals to greatness. However adopting a win-at-all-costs mentality is corrosive. It ruins relationships and sucks the enjoyment out of life. 

woman watching man at bar on phone toxic personality traits

Being overly aggressive skews perceptions and sometimes results in unhinged and unreasonable conduct. 

To keep away from letting your aggressive edge metastasize into one thing ugly, attempt these tips about for measurement:

  • Compete with your self as a substitute of others.
  • Study to understand everybody’s strengths and weaknesses, together with your individual.
  • Develop your confidence and contentment so that you don’t really feel the necessity to “beat” others.

6. Aggression

Acknowledging your vary of feelings is important and a pillar of excellent psychological well being. However studying how one can stability them can also be important — and curbing aggression ought to be a high precedence.

Approaching life from a spot of rage is unproductive. Furthermore, it builds partitions between you and others, making it troublesome to type fulfilling relationships and friendships.  

So if you wish to be calm, cool, and picked up, think about the next:

  • Aggression is often rooted in unaddressed trauma; coping with previous pains head-on can assist you progress on.
  • Study your triggers. What makes you go from zero to 80 in .5 seconds? Pinpointing these issues and growing de-escalation instruments helps.
  • Internalize the concept most individuals don’t get pleasure from rage-filled blowhards; if you wish to “slot in” and “be appreciated,” chilling out is one of the best path.

When assessing others, attempt to not confuse aggression with extroversion and boisterousness. Furthermore, do not forget that cultural and regional variations massively impression acceptable and anticipated ranges of bluntness. So be sleek, and do not forget that one particular person’s “aggression” is one other’s “enthusiastically engaged.”

7. Passive-Aggression

Outright aggression is a nasty look — and passive aggression is correct alongside it. Some would argue it’s even worse due to the believable deniability ingredient. 

Passive aggression creates pointless drama as a result of the instigator isn’t sincere about their ideas and emotions. It ruins relationships as a result of the goal can by no means pinpoint precisely what’s occurring. They know one thing feels off however are at the hours of darkness as to why. 

Be aware, too, that passive aggression is the covert narcissist’s favourite software — so be looking out!

Are you responsible of being passive-aggressive? Right here’s how one can flip issues round:

  • Work on taming your ego and constructing your confidence. It could sound contradictory, however many individuals who exhibit this trait are a fancy mixture of boastful and insecure.
  • Develop into conversant in all of your feelings and perceive it’s okay to be aggravated and offended generally. You don’t must sofa the whole lot. 
  • Be assertive as a substitute of aggressive. When conflicts come up, politely specific how a given state of affairs makes you’re feeling.
  • Work on being much less conflict-avoidant.  

9. Pretension

Pretentious individuals have an inflated sense of worth or standing. In the end, they suppose they’re higher than others and are typically class-conscious.

Apparently, most pretentious persons are completely unaware of their conduct, believing they’re candy, beneficiant souls who deal with everybody equally. 

Realizing you’re pretentious is usually a psychological journey steeped in ache. In any case, who desires to face the truth that they’re not as type as they thought? However working via it’s definitely worth the effort. To get there, attempt the following tips: 

  • Use odd language as a substitute of going out of your strategy to attempt to sound good round others.
  • Strive new issues; it’ll enable you to notice there’s a world of issues that folks excel at that you just don’t. Primarily, it’s humbling.
  • Don’t appropriate individuals on a regular basis, particularly when it’s one thing small.

10. Inflexibility

It’s fantastic to have sturdy opinions. Understanding your self is nice. Furthermore, normally, private inflexibility isn’t the identical as being enthusiastic about optimistic societal change and correcting previous wrongs. 

However insisting you might have all the proper solutions and shutting your self off to the whole lot else is harmful. 

Life is sophisticated; that goes double for individuals. Heck, scientists nonetheless don’t perceive the character of consciousness. 

Anticipating behavioral and mental uniformity is a fruitless and irritating endeavor that’ll make you unlikable to a large swath of the inhabitants.

We’re not suggesting everybody ought to be wishy-washy. Nonetheless, persistently refusing to hearken to others’ viewpoints and chastising individuals who don’t suppose like you’re poisonous traits.

How will you turn out to be much less inflexible?

  • Observe mindfulness; studying to be within the second will reduce expectation nervousness.
  • Strive new issues and embrace alternatives, even when they fall outdoors your consolation zone.
  • Study to be extra humble.
  • Study extra about individuals who differ from you.

11. Controlling

Nature, please bless type-A personalities. With out them, nothing would get executed!

However being controlling is a distinct story. Private autonomy is a human proper. 

Positive. Limits exist. Letting children do no matter they need doesn’t qualify as “good parenting.” Furthermore, we’ve a societal accountability to isolate people who threaten the lives of others. 

However don’t be a dictator in your private or skilled life. Not solely are you negatively impacting others’ psychological well being by infringing on their company, however you’re slicing your self off from rising and studying from others.

Listed below are a number of instruments to attempt when engaged on being much less controlling:

  • Confront fears that make you inflexible and anxious.
  • Strive utilizing a chilled mantra if you really feel issues are slipping uncontrolled.
  • Study to respect different individuals’s autonomy.

12. Unapologetic

All of us mess up at factors in our lives. When it occurs, one of the best route is taking accountability, apologizing to your conduct, and enhancing. Wholesome persons are forgiving; they perceive it’s unimaginable to make it via life with out misstepping.

Poisonous individuals, nevertheless, have problem admitting after they’re improper. As an alternative of holding themselves accountable, they place themselves because the harmed celebration and refuse to budge. In the end, unapologetic individuals usually discover themselves friendless.

How will you get higher at saying sorry?

  • Before everything, acknowledge that you just’re full of faults, similar to everybody else.
  • Don’t get within the behavior of excusing away your errors whereas lambasting others for theirs. 
  • Observe apologizing to your self. When you get that down, lengthen that grace to others.

13. “Humorously” Insulting

Have you ever ever met somebody — or are you the particular person — who couches insults in humor? Sure, studying to snort at your self is vital. However framing maliciousness as jokes is a horrible high quality, and individuals who do it are often depressing on the within. 

How will you shed this poisonous trait?

  • Earlier than you say one thing, cease and suppose the way you’d really feel if somebody stated it to you.
  • Perceive why you’re feeling the must be insulting, then work on these emotional struggles inside your self.
  • Study to “punch up” as a substitute of “punching down.”

14. Lack of Self-Consciousness

The teenager and twentysomething years are about private exploration. We’re determining who we’re and testing boundaries. So, being a bit delusional at that age isn’t unusual.

However forming a agency sense of self-awareness is essential if you wish to lead a gratifying life.

How will you plumb your private depths?

  • Working with a counselor or therapist is the first step. They’ll enable you to pinpoint the roots of your detachment. If you happen to don’t have the funds for a therapist, choose up some books written by credible psychologists.
  • Ask your family and friends for his or her opinions about your strengths and weaknesses. If you happen to go this route, attempt to not get defensive.
  • Sort out your shadow self and begin journaling.

15. Condescension

Condescending persons are stuffed with disdain for folk they understand as inferior in a method or one other. It’s a noxious trait that all the time rubs individuals the improper means. In any case, no one likes to be talked right down to. Furthermore, considering you’re higher than others is a silly conceit — and life has a means of smacking down people who do.

So how do you rid your self of this offensive perspective?

  • Communicate to your viewers, not above them.
  • Ask individuals if they need your recommendation as a substitute of providing it up unsolicited.
  • Give others credit score when it’s due.
  • Be aware of your physique language.

16. Judgmental

Judgmentalness is the standard of being overly important. Not solely does it make your targets really feel dangerous about themselves, however research present that extremely judgmental persons are extra self-critical than the typical particular person, which ends up in nervousness, melancholy, stress, and a weakened immune system. 

If you wish to study to stay and let stay, take a look at the next ideas:

  • Develop a wholesome sense of self-awareness.
  • Observe being extra sympathetic and empathetic.
  • Journal about your opinions, dissect them, after which assess in the event that they’re rooted in private insecurity. If that’s the case, work on that as a substitute of being important of others.

17. Gross or Malicious Dishonesty

Simply as all of us get slightly jealous every so often, all of us often lie. Generally it’s to spare somebody’s emotions; different instances, it’s a matter of desirous to keep away from an advanced and pointless dialog. 

Nonetheless, gross and malicious dishonesty crosses the road. Extreme mendacity creates issues and drama and has the ability to unfairly destroy lives and reputations.

How will you turn out to be a extra sincere particular person?

  • Suppose twice earlier than talking.
  • Study to not let your feelings drive your actions.
  • Perceive that it’s okay to make errors.
  • If you happen to do lie and really feel dangerous, confess.

18. Unreliability

Simply as all of us get slightly jealous every so often, all of us often lie. Generally it’s to spare somebody’s emotions; different instances, it’s a matter of desirous to keep away from an advanced and pointless dialog. 

Nonetheless, gross and malicious dishonesty crosses the road. Extreme mendacity creates issues and drama and has the ability to unfairly destroy lives and reputations.

How will you turn out to be a extra sincere particular person?

  • Suppose twice earlier than talking.
  • Study to not let your feelings drive your actions.
  • Perceive that it’s okay to make errors.
  • If you happen to do lie and really feel dangerous, confess.

19. Insincerity

Properly-liked persons are genuine. They don’t placed on airs or attempt to current themselves as one thing they’re not. It’s manipulative, insidious, and makes individuals uncomfortable. Moreover, a serious element of likability is placing others comfy round you. 

So how will you stay a extra genuine life?

  • Internalize the concept of impermanence. 
  • Work in your self-confidence.
  • Strive your greatest, however don’t beat your self up if you come up quick.
  • Take issues much less personally.

20. Tendency To Shift Blame

When one thing goes improper, is your first intuition to level fingers at others? This behavior known as blame-shifting, and it qualifies as poor conduct. It’s a dialog killer and irritating for the opposite events concerned. In a means, it’s a type of delusional mendacity. 

So how will you curb this intuition?

  • Develop into snug with the truth that everybody messes up and has limitations.
  • You probably have perfectionist tendencies, attempt to eradicate them. It’s okay to be detail-oriented — so long as it doesn’t trigger you and others stress and nervousness.
  • Discover ways to apologize.

21. Entitlement

Entitlement, as a persona high quality, is the assumption that you just inherently deserve sure privileges and particular remedy. The basic instance is when celebrities say one thing alongside the traces of, “Have you learnt who I’m?” after they’re handled like a mean particular person. 

Individuals on this class have problem distinguishing between wants and needs, placing them at odds with others. It additionally inhibits one’s skill to make reasoned choices. 

The excellent news is entitlement is one other poisonous high quality that may simply be overcome. How? 

  • Study extra about different individuals and their circumstances. 
  • Acknowledge the bodily and psychological energy that folks with much less privilege have needed to endure. Take into account how you’d have most likely fared if you happen to had walked of their footwear, however don’t overestimate your talents.
  • Acknowledge that materials wealth and standing don’t outline peoples’ price.

22. Gossipy

Anthropologists consider gossip is a social ingredient in each recognized society. In different phrases, there’s no avoiding it. However the way you gossip issues.

For instance, spreading rumors is horrible. So is meanly speaking behind the again of somebody going via a tough time or coping with unchangeable and difficult circumstances. Nonetheless, hypothesis about who’s courting who isn’t essentially terrible (if it’s not malicious). 

So how will you turn out to be much less gossipy?

  • Earlier than speaking about individuals behind their backs, take into consideration the way you’d really feel if the tables had been turned.
  • Settle for that each life has its struggles, and study to be compassionate.
  • Decide to being type, and bear in mind that there’s all the time extra to each story than you understand.
  • Keep on with mild celeb gossip as a substitute of individuals in your orbit.

23. Tendency to Instigate Drama

Life is difficult sufficient, so there’s no must instigate much more drama. It makes individuals’s lives tougher, will increase stress, and creates a bunch of social issues.

However you may sluggish your drama roll by:

  • Not sticking your nostril into issues that don’t concern you
  • Not making mountains out of molehills
  • Being conscious of projection

24. Consideration-Looking for

Do you’re keen on consideration? That’s fantastic. Simply choose a profession path that fulfills that want, like performing or motivational talking. 

In any other case, being attention-seeking in on a regular basis life is annoying and exhausting. Issues can turn out to be downright harmful if you happen to go to extremes and self-harm in an try to drag focus.

So how will you escape this poisonous cycle?

  • Study to be content material with your self and never depend on others’ admiration.
  • Work in your self-confidence and self-awareness.
  • Give attention to what you genuinely love as a substitute of attempting to impress others.

25. Manipulativeness

Being manipulative is the standard of unscrupulously controlling an individual or state of affairs. It often includes mendacity and tapping into peoples’ vulnerabilities. Sometimes, manipulative persons are out for themselves and can do something of their energy to get their means. (Suppose: Little Finger from Sport of Thrones)

The issue is that almost all manipulative individuals fall someplace on the psychopathy scale and don’t wish to change. Generally, nevertheless, childhood trauma can result in this conduct. In these instances, it’s potential to desert the behavior. 

Listed below are a number of ideas:

  • Decide why you’re manipulative and work on therapeutic the foundation trauma.
  • Work in your shallowness; insecurity is commonly the supply of manipulative conduct.
  • Make peace with the truth that the whole lot gained’t go your means.

26. Vindictiveness

Vindictive individuals got down to hurt people — emotionally or bodily — whom they really feel slighted them by some means. It’s a horrible strategy to undergo life because it amplifies animosity, and also you spend helpful power ruminating concerning the previous as a substitute of dwelling your greatest life. 

In worst-case situations, vindictive individuals get it improper and wind up hurting harmless people. 

  • Learn tales about how vindictive conduct usually backfires.
  • Work on shrinking the poisonous a part of your ego.
  • Study to be extra forgiving of your self and others.

27. Poisonous Positivity

Anticipating everybody to be optimistic and joyful on a regular basis results in extreme nervousness and melancholy — for each you and them. We now have a spread of feelings for a motive, and acknowledging all of them is wholesome. Positive, wallowing is dangerous — however so is ignoring challenges and difficulties.

So how will you study to embrace the exhausting stuff?

  • Perceive that acknowledging your vary of feelings is important for good psychological well being.
  • Let individuals be of their emotions, and provides your self permission to discover yours.
  • Study to be extra compassionate and respect others’ circumstances and challenges.

28. Impatience

Life doesn’t all the time transfer at a tempo that’s good for you, so studying how one can glide can lower down on a lot of frustration. Being impatient with others can foster resentment, because it feels punitive — (i.e., Hurry up! What’s improper with you!? What can’t you get your act collectively!?).

Listed below are a number of tips about growing persistence:

  • Incorporate mindfulness actions into your routine.
  • Enhance your listening expertise.
  • Make a acutely aware effort to decelerate.
  • Work on eliminating procrastination out of your life.

29. Cynicism

Cynical individuals consider everyone seems to be motivated by self-interest. In a means, they’re proper. We’re all saddled with a survival intuition. 

However within the trendy world, cynicism has morphed into one thing insidious, as individuals who nurse the standard in themselves are skeptical of everybody that crosses their path. 

It’s a pressure on relationships and one thing to work on eradicating out of your persona. To that finish, listed below are some pointers:

  • Be much less judgmental.
  • Observe loving-kindness, compassion, and persistence.
  • Meditate on the interconnectedness of the Universe.

30. Self-Centeredness

Few issues in life are extra objectionable than a totally grown grownup who acts just like the world revolves round them. Greater than that, psychologists cite the trait as the foundation of psychiatric sickness, nervousness, melancholy, and habit. 

Self-centered individuals additionally are likely to ruminate about themselves, disallowing them to genuinely join with others. 

If you wish to get away of your individual thoughts, attempt the next:

  • Study to snort at your self.
  • Settle for your weak factors.
  • Perceive that life is rather a lot simpler if you take a cooperative strategy.
  • Cease worrying about what everybody else thinks of you — and perceive they’re most likely not considering of you as a lot as you suppose they’re.

31. Disrespectfulness

You gained’t agree with everybody, however fundamental respect is a should. Before everything, no one has the fitting to abuse others. Furthermore, being dismissive and overbearing to colleagues, buddies, household, and repair suppliers is impolite.

How will you foster extra respect for fellow people?

  • That is one other high quality that may be alleviated by studying extra. Tales give us perception into the lives and psychology of others, which boosts our capability for respect.
  • Be well mannered and keep away from interrupting others.
  • Be cognizant of your physique language. 
  • Take into consideration your tone when chatting with others.

32. Greediness

Greed — aka avarice — is among the seven lethal sins for a motive! It causes individuals to behave unethically and has the ability to strip hardworking individuals of a good life. Greed also can harm your psychological well being and result in dangerous conduct, insupportable stress, and legal exercise.  

Studying to be extra beneficiant will lighten your emotional load. Listed below are a number of methods to make it occur:

  • Work on being extra compassionate.
  • Study what makes you cheerful, and attempt for that.
  • Take into consideration why you’re feeling a scarcity in your life and deal with these points.

33. Abusiveness

Abusiveness is the worst high quality a human can have. Bodily harming others on objective is in opposition to the regulation, and emotional bullies additionally trigger heaps of injury.

How will you cease if you happen to fall into this class?

  • Before everything, enlist the assistance of a therapist who can assist you determine the foundation of your anger and conduct.
  • When you pinpoint the issue, begin engaged on them.
  • Take accountability to your previous abusive conduct and attempt to make amends. Nonetheless, by no means anticipate individuals you’ve harm to forgive you. They’re beneath no obligation.

Ultimate Ideas

If you happen to’re responsible of a few of the above behaviors, attempt to not beat your self up. Many individuals by no means amass the maturity required to confront their very own faults, so that you’re one step forward already. Pat your self on the again.

Additionally, do not forget that it’s by no means too late to alter; take it one step at a time, keep dedicated, then marvel at how your world adjustments for the higher — as a result of it should get higher. Simply hold plugging away and settle for that you just’ll have setbacks. Don’t allow them to knock you out for good. Mud your self up and get again on observe.

Congrats on taking step one. We all know you’ve bought this.